Photo: Me at Vizcaya Museum and Gardens in Miami.
It’s been… ugh. Yesterday, I think I reached rock bottom, emotionally. I was such a mess and had RAI regrets. I don’t know if it’s the Prednisone or if I’ve transitioned into hyper again, or maybe I’m still having Propranolol withdrawls. I dunno. Prednisone side effects are very similar to Graves, then again I’m only taking 20 mg a day, so it probably IS my thyroid spewing out the last remaining hormones before it goes caput. Regardless, it’s been a very rough ride on the emotional roller coaster. Here’s my progress between yesterday and today:
- Emotionally, it’s been draining and admittedly I’ve been a little manic. I spent all day yesterday obsessed installing a piece of code on one of my websites (I’m a computer nerd) that I just couldn’t get right. When I stepped away from the computer, I was so upset that I was crying for no reason. I sat down for a while and it felt like emotionally I had hit rock bottom. It was the first time I’ve ever felt truly alone.
- Kept waking up last night feeling hot and with that uncomfortable feeling in my chest. This morning when I woke up, I felt “the shakes.” That trembling feeling all over my body I used to get before I was diagnosed.
- Upset stomach this morning.
- Could not move my hands. I started working remotely from home and when I sat down to shoot out some emails, my brain could not make the connection with my hands. It was scary, but after a few tries, I got my hands moving. Heart rate was moderately high.
- Had a conference call and I felt flustered and stressed, over something thing that required no emotions on my part. (I used to feel like this pre-diagnosis, I would get so worked up over little things like paper clips.)
- After I took the Prednisone, I felt a little better.
- Suddenly got the urge for a Wendy’s burger… after I devoured it, my heart rate was pounding. Took 5 mg (very small dose) of Propranolol (last time I took it was on Friday, so maybe all of this was just Propranolol withdrawls. . .ha-ha jokes on me!)
- Had what felt like thyroid brain this afternoon.
- Later in the afternoon, I came off the high, and actually felt normal, but now my body is so tired from the marathon it just ran. I think I’m ready for a nap.
- Going on day 7 of 11 of isolation, especially at night. Radiologist said it would be ideal to stay away from people as much as possible for at least two weeks. Short distances are ok, so long as it’s not for prolonged amounts of time and that no one is close to my neck. I think I just need a hug. I really big hug. Next time I see someone who’s sad and hurting, I’m just going to hug them. Because, I’ve officially been there, and boy does this suck.
I chose this picture as my post today. I’m doing a standing toe pose, and if you look closely, I’m a little off-center and not balanced. Right now, I’m extremely off-center and completely unbalanced. But I just have to work harder and keep trying. I took this picture just after the Methimazole started working on me, and I had just enough strength to give it a try. I’ll be there again. . . very soon!I am not a doctor and the content on this blog is not medical advice. This is simply my experience with Graves Disease, and all thoughts expressed on this blog are my opinions. Please consult a doctor if you think you have Graves Disease or prior to taking any action that may affect your outcome with Graves Disease. You should never delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice, or discontinue medical treatment because of information on this website.